In just few months of grieving for Praveen, I have been showered with condolences, opinions and advices from those who love me and want to help me in every possible way to get over it fast. But the truth is grieving is not a destination to be achieved or a race to be completed, rather, it’s a journey and every single person has their own pace and takes their own time. But friends and family in the process of comforting and not hurting me at least possible way, still end up in saying something that instantly boils my blood.
So I thought would write down a few things about ‘how can you help or support a loved one experiencing a sudden loss’ like mine. I was all set to pen down on this, and then I came across a very or I should say the exact points or words I would want to put in my post. However, mine wouldn’t have been so brutally honest and hilarious at the same time.So I decided to link you guys to this particular article that I came across than repeating them here.
Kelly Lynn, a comedian, writer, actor, and performer; residing just outside NYC, lost her husband too very young. She has written an article on "What Did You Just Say To Me?" - Things you should and should not say to a Widow. (click here to read this article) This article had every word I ever wanted to say to people who made good attempts in comforting me. So please, please read the whole article until the end as this will not only educate you on what to say and not to say to someone who has lost their partner, but will also give insights into their feelings at the time of their tragedy. Also, this is for people who feel uncomfortable and frightened that they may say or convey wrong things and never confront the person experiencing the loss.
If you liked this article then come back and give your thoughts regarding anything (I mean it! Even if it is negative) in the comment box.
My humble request for forgiveness: Please don’t take it personally. My intension in posting this is not to hurt or judge people who have made truthful and heartfelt attempts in supporting me, instead I want to educate and prepare you all for situations like these in future.
I would also take this as an opportunity to thank my family and all my friends have and are still supporting me in this painful journey. I am glad to have friends who have come back to see me later if not at the time of tragedy.
THANK YOU ONE AND ALL.
In loving memory of my husband Praveen